I notice a lot on social media and just in conversation with friends and colleagues that sometimes when parents talk about time away from their children they feel and sound guilty that they have done it
Feeling like everything they do should include their child, and that they feel guilty if the have the odd day out, time away or just having a night off from the life of being a parent.
If there is one thing I have learnt as a parent its that you still need to make time for yourself. Yes your child is the most important person in the world and as parents we would do anything for them and to see them happy but at the same time if you don't make a bit of time for yourself its easy to become stress, lose your self as a person, or feel alone.
During December it was my birthday and being a very lucky person my partner decided to pay for an all inclusive trip to Lanzarote for myself and her. This would actually be the first time I would be away from my daughter for more than just the odd night when she is having a sleep over at grandmas house.
I thought it would be a great idea to relieve this and just let guys know that's its okay to do this. As fathers out working for large parts of the week we are sometimes forgotten about. People may look at it as we are away from our children and that we have a break from them when we are at work but in actual fact we are still working, we are still providing and we are still no doubt stressing about making ends meet.
If like myself and partner you are in the situation where as the father in the relationship you work the majority of the hours in your household to provide with your partner doing her share through a part time job you will know how important it is to have a break every now and then to really reset and recharge.
In the build up to our holiday i was doing anything from 45 - 60 hour weeks which may not seem huge to some but when your contracted hours are only 35 it can make a real difference in your home life.
With my job any overtime that is worked one month is paid into the following months pay and with it being the festive period in October and November i tried to work more to give us a bit more cash flow over the December & Christmas.
We went away on Thursday 2nd December with our flight being at 7am that morning as it was such an early flight our little girl stayed at her grandmas house on the Wednesday night too heading there just before bed time. We arrived back on the Sunday of that week but it was later than our little one goes to bed so we picked her up the following day.
In all honesty the holiday was brilliant! I personally haven't been abroad in several years and it was refreshing to see some sun in December albeit a bit windier than I would have imagined. None the less it was a fantastic couple of days away and just what was needed before the Christmas rush.
We went all inclusive and it was nice not to have to worry about doing any housework especially the pots, its one thing I help with around the house and I couldn't hate it more! I imagine there's plenty of fathers out there who feel the same way!
Feelings of Leaving our Daughter
You don't really think of how hard it will be to leave your child with someone for a few days especially family but it can be quite hard to say good bye especially when you see them everyday. The easiest way and the best way I can say to do this is when dropping them off do it as you would a plaster make the hand over quick and get it done as to not cause upset
It wasn't so much the thought of leaving our daughter as we know she is in good hands , will be looked after and have a good time while were away I think its more so the thought of not seeing them tomorrow morning or playing with them the following day etc
Were very fortunate in that our little girl loves staying at grandmas house and always has such a great time with both her gran and grandad. It does make it a whole lot easier knowing she will have a good time and will have fun while your away.
Its always harder to leave your child for longer than a night but its great to have a support network with family or friends who you can trust to look after your child and take care of them in the best way while your away to put your mind at ease while away. I know some people don't have this privilege for one reason or another and it can be hard without it.
While we were away
Ill be completely honest with you! while we were away I was having a great time, and top be honest I wasn't worrying about our little girl at all. Of course I was thinking of her and we would wonder what she had been up to etc while we were away but I didn't feel guilty for being on holiday
People on the outside don't always understand how hard it can be being a parent or how draining it can be and that as parents we do need to take a break and time for ourselves.
Mother kept us up to date with photos everyday and with little tales of what they had been up to during our time away and that definitely helped with us being less anxious or nervous about leaving her
I would for sure go on another holiday without our little one again but also going on holiday made me realise how i cant wait to be able to take her with us and how it will be so fun to play in the pool together, get involved in the activities on offer and show her amazing places abroad that will broaden her outlook on the world
You have to make time for your self as well as time together as a family and that something i have learnt since becoming a parent. I think any parent who says they don't need a night off or a bit of time away is lying. With work commitments, bills, a child and adulting in general life can be hard at times and you have to take time to take care of yourself.
Let us know in the comments how many of your Fathers out there have spent some time apart from your child since their birth either alone or with your partner and what did you get up to?
If you want to read more about what i have learnt as a parent then be sure to take a look at these 10 things HERE because as you may have realised yourself now there are so many things you learn when you become a parent and that everyone has a different perspective or outlook on parenting